Bud Gott's Amazing Blog-O-Rama!

First of all, thank you to those of you who contacted me regarding my previous posting. Your friendship and support means a lot to me.

Things are a lot better than last week. It's amazing how much things can change in such a short period of time. An awful lot can be said for the mere act of simply switching our mindsets on things. It can make all the difference in the world.

Hard to believe that Summer's almost here. This year is moving by fast so far!

I have no trips or vacations currently planned for the season, but I'm hoping to get down to the beach more often than I did last year. Hopefully gas prices won't hit the $5 per gallon mark before I take the 2 hour drive down there.

You ever have one of those days when you get depressed and you just can't seem to snap yourself out of it?

I felt like that a couple of days ago. I got to thinking about several different things in my life that I'm unhappy about and I got more and more depressed. Damn, if I went into all those things here, this would be one of the longest blog postings in the history of blog postings.

I'll spare you (and my fingers) all that typing.

Basically though, I guess all that depression boiled down to me not being happy with who I am...mainly because of fears and lack in confidence in myself. I've been a far more insecure and depressed person than those close to me have probably realized. For a long, long time now. I've had a lot of days like the one I had a couple of days ago.

We all have dreams or things we want to do with our lives. For me, fear of failure stopped me from truly going for those things. You know the old saying, "you're a failure if you don't even try?" Well, that's been my problem. Things I dreamt about, things I wanted to do....these things haven't happened yet because of me. I have no one else to blame but myself and my insecurities.

And because of all that, I pretty much haven't liked myself very much for a long time now. In return, I know I've hurt or let down other people along the way. I know I haven't been the friend, brother, son, whatever, that I should have been to several people. For this, I'm sorry.

Aside from letting others down, because of my insecurities, I've let myself down by not going for and not doing the things I've wanted.

Damn, I've just re-read what I've typed so far and it looks like a suicide note.

IT'S NOT!!!!!!!!!

It's a wake-up note to myself. The hell with all the insecurities, the doubts, the fears that I've had for so long. I'm done with them.

I'm done with not believing in myself. No more. Everything I wanted in the past that I never went for.....all the things I'm going to want in the future....I'm going for them. I'm going to start truly reaching for who I want to be.

I know that these are just a lot of good words and that actions speak louder than words. I'm going to start taking more actions and a difference will be made. Even when I fail some along the way, then so be it. I'll be trying harder and that's what really matters.

There's a great scene in the movie "Rocky Balboa" where Rocky says that life isn't about how hard you can hit, but about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.

I'm moving forward from now on.

I've been on a real reading kick lately. The most recent novels I've read were all very enjoyable. They are:

CAT'S CRADLE by Kurt Vonnegut

BETWEEN THE BRIDGE AND THE RIVER by Craig Ferguson

LAMB: THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO BIFF, CHRIST'S CHILDHOOD PAL by Christopher Moore

Each of these novels are very compelling reads. Also, in addition to them having great stories, they each also have a lot of humor in them.

This was the first time I'd read anything by these authors but it certainly won't be the last. (In fact, just last night I started reading BLOODSUCKING FIENDS by Christopher Moore.)

If you're looking for something good to read, then you can't go wrong with the books I just mentioned.

Happy reading,

Bud

P.S. - In case you're wondering...yes, the Craig Ferguson who wrote BETWEEN THE BRIDGE AND THE RIVER, is the same Craig Ferguson who is an actor and the host of The Late Late Show on CBS. BETWEEN THE BRIDGE AND THE RIVER is his first novel.

I'm listening to Counting Crows right now. I've always liked this band a lot. I know they're still fairly popular but they're good enough that they should still be incredibly popular...

I'm rooting for Barack Obama for the Democratic Presidential nomination. I don't dislike Clinton at all, though sometimes she seems a little cold to me. There's something incredibly likeable though about Obama. In some ways he actually reminds me of Bill Clinton when he first ran for President. Maybe it's the great charisma factor...

It hasn't been much of a winter here in Delaware so far. We've only had one semi-significant snowfall and that wasn't much of anything. I'd still kind of like at least one major snowstorm before the end of the season...

I'm liking the current season of LOST a lot. I especially liked the most recent episode which centered around Desmond. He's probably my favorite character on the show...

The new Michael McDonald cd is being released this coming week. I'll defintely own it before the week is out...

The pic in the below posting showed up on here a little more blurry than I expected. I noticed though that it shows up clearer (and larger) if you click on it...

Aloha for now,

Mr. Gott

Taken on my birthday last month. Despite Boots looking petrified, I like this pic.

Yeah, I'm psyched for it. Last season's cliffhanger about them possiby getting rescued and the bizarre flash-forward of Jack has got me looking forward to tonight's premiere. Should be a good one...

I'm kind of torn about this one. On one hand, I'd kind of like the New York Giants to win. I know I'm not supposed to root for them since I'm an Eagles' fan, but I kind of like them anyway.

On the other hand, it's been amazing what an incredible season the New England Patriots have had and since they've gone the entire season and post-season with no losses, I'd kind of like to see them go all the way and win the Super Bowl.

In the end, I just want it to be a damned good game that's not decided in the first ten minutes of the game. I want it to be worth watching for more than just the commercials.

No major resolutions for 2008, but I talked about some on them on my myspace site. In addition to those, I'd also like to do the following:

START USING A PERSONAL JOURNAL AGAIN: I recently came across a journal that I had about ten years ago. Reading through it made me remember just how much I enjoyed making it. Not only are journals a great way to record what's going on in our lives, but they can also be very therapeutic.

KEEP TRYING NEW THINGS: A couple of years ago, one of my resolutions was to do something each day that I'd never done before. It didn't matter how big or small the things were, the main idea was to have new experiences. It could be something as simple as driving through a neighborhood I'd never been in before or even just trying something different to eat or drink. Sounds very simple, huh? True, but I did aquire a lot of new experiences when I did it. I'm not going to try now to do it each and every day, but I'm going to keep seeking out new and different things to try out.

UPDATING THIS BLOG MORE OFTEN: Yeah, yeah, yeah - I know I say that all the time and I know I've sucked at it the past several months. I'm going to do better from now on.

Hey, hey, hey - look who's back!

Aaaiiieee - it's been well over three months since I updated this site. I wish I could say I haven't updated because I was busy lying on a beach on Hawaii counting the millions I'd won in a lottery but that's definitely not the case.

You all know how it goes. Sometimes life just gets busy.

I've missed the site though and I plan on getting back to regularly weekly updates from now on.

So, how was my 2007? Well, I can't say it was bad. Nothing too terrible happened to me or my family members this year. My parents have both been in pretty good health. Dad had a very rough 2006 so it was nice to see him do much better in 2007.

Some of my closest friends (you know who you are) had a very tough year, including various serious health problems, the loss of loved ones, and other problems. I wish you all a much, much better 2008 than 2007.

No big plans for New Year's Eve tonight. My lady and I were going to go out but she's a little under the weather. We'll just do a quiet night at home, maybe have a little wine, and watch Dick Clark ring in the New Year.

I've got some resolutions for 2008 but I'll put them in my next posting.

Happy New Year, everyone!